


Tall Tales

by Lookatallmyships



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack-ish?, Humor, M/M, bar owner!beorn (in mention only), bartender!Dwalin, mentions of drinking, nwalin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 14:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookatallmyships/pseuds/Lookatallmyships
Summary: Dwalin is a long suffering bartender, and Nori knows how to work a room.





	Tall Tales

Dwalin huffs in annoyance, and scrubs harder at the bit of salt that's managed to crust itself onto the bar. No doubt, it's from the margaritas he'd served to this group of 20-something kids that came in earlier. He enjoys his job, truly he does. Beorn is a great boss to work for, and the tips are great. The only problem is the customers. If they aren't getting into fights and destroying bar property, then they're shamelessly making a mess of the place.

"Well what was _your_ first time like? I doubt yours was all that exciting, either."

Dwalin sighs inwardly. These guys have been here for over an hour now, talking about the most inane shit. Their leader, a man with long flame red hair, showed up awhile after the main group, and in just a short time he managed to get them all flocking around him.

The red haired man laughs. "Ah, that would be a lovely girl I met at a party back in highschool. We really hit it off, and she took me up to her room." He takes a sip of his drink. "She was a couple years older than me, mind you."

One of the others shoves the man, and grins. "Nice! Was she any good?"

"It wasn't bad. Only problem was, she had her iPod playing the whole time."

Another guy cocks his head at this. "Why? Did she play crappy pop music or something? I met a girl once, who insisted that Taylor Swift was the best to listen to during."

The leader smirks. "Try a playlist full of such amazing songs as, 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan."

"No! Isn't that the song they play in those adopt a dog commercials?"

He hums. "Yup. But that was nothing compared to when one song ended, and suddenly 'Cotton Eye Joe' came on."

This reveal gets everyone surrounding him in hysterics.

"Oh, man. Anyone who lost their viginity by 'Cotton Eye Joe' deserves a free drink. Next one's on me."

The man nods graciously, but Dwalin can see the smirk on his face.  
"I would have simply taked it as a challenge, but then her father got home..."

~

It's nearing the end of Dwalin's shift when the crowd finally starts trickling out the door bit by bit, until finally only the man with the red hair is left.

He taps his knuckles on the bar to get Dwalin's attention, and then grins when he turns to look at him. "Mind grabbing me one for the road, big guy?"

Dwalin opens his mouth to give the usual lecture about drinking in public/drunk driving, but the other man cuts him off with a roll of his eyes.

"No not literally, a friend is coming to pick me up. Just grab me something to drink while I wait?"  
Dwalin sighs, but he grabs a beer from the fridge and hands it over. After that if he stays long enough to finish it, Dwalin's insisting on water only. The guy doesn't look overly drunk, but it's getting late. He shouldn't ask, he knows he shouldn't indulge him, but Dwalin's too curious for his own good. "So. Are the stories you were telling your merry band of followers, true?"

He leers at Dwalin, grinning smugly. "Not so much, but they don't actually care. I've found, that as long as you supply them with entertaining stories, drunk people will keep handing you drinks."

Dwalin barks out a surprised laugh. "We should have that written on the damn wall around here. I'll have to ask Beorn for permission."

His cellphone chimes from the pocket of his jeans, and he fishes it out. Nodding to himself after reading the message, the phone disappears back into his pocket. "That's my ride." He tips back the bottle, draining what was left of the beer. "Tell you what. Take me on a date, and maybe I'll give you permission to use the quote." He slides a scrap of paper across the bar, before winking at Dwalin and walking off.  
Dwalin looks down. Written on the back of a crumpled receipt is a phone number, and one word written below it.

_Nori_.

Dwalin wonders when he had time to write it- he certainly hadn't seen him do it.


End file.
